i have a shitload of work to do for school and i'm not able to do everything even if i spent my entire freetime on it. i have to change oil for my motorbike, buy new screws(the current screws start to rust)and because of my last accident i have to get the new cover for the right side that will cost me roughly 2oo.ooo VND(bout 15€but the problem is i'm in lack of money.
normal people i think would complain and start cursing but...somehow i'm happy with it. it ceeps me occupied and i'm not able to think about my homesickness that became really bad!!! and in the morning i see bats hanging in front of my second window(the view is great! i have a wall)and during the night i share my room with cute mice(once i could catch one. it was really kind and not afraid of so i set it free in front of my house, my grandma told me to throw it out of the window or to fludh it the toillet! result of that was that i grabbed the mouse and ran away crying like a little child).
and it is this happy feeling when you finish your work and say fuck off and get your freakin reward for it->good grades

i thought that i'll never worry about my grades but the day came that i finally did and hey the world keeps runningand everybody is alive^^
since a very long time i could experienced that...changes could turn out positive...that everything goes up and i'm happy about it, but still i want to deal with my past and not deny or runnaway from it like i did all the time...maybe i'm ready, maybe i'm able to deal with the things which tortured me so long...maybe it's time to open up the trunk take all those feelings and events out again

one day it will happen and maybe it's soon you never know^^but untill that day i think i should just enjoy the little things of life^^